Friday, February 24, 2017

Sexy, Little Black Accessory

So on Valentine's Day (Tuesday last week) I changed up my routine. No exercising or eating clean. I was a bum. I ate pizza and hung out with my family. I thought I deserved the break. So I didn't do anything out of the ordinary other than not push myself like I usually do.

The next day (Wednesday last week) I woke up for work. My left arm was killing me. I just assumed I slept on it funny. I tried stretching it out all day, and it got more sore and painful, so I ended up letting it be. 

Thursday it was better but still VERY sore. I couldn't believe that sleeping on it wrong would cause this much pain.I obviously did something to it, but what?

Friday it was tender and hurt periodically. It never really improved after that. I was able to spend time with the family, take Ashton to the park, all sorts of things, but I typically tried not to move my arm or raise it if at all. It made things a bit awkward, but I was able to muddle through.

I joked that I saved the world in my sleep as I have no idea what I did to myself. 

So since it wasn't getting better since Friday, on Monday I went to my doctor first thing before going to work. I wanted to know what was going on ad what I needed to do to get over this little hump and be back to 100%. As since Valentine's day with the arm I hadn't exercised and I stopped eating clean. I was munching on crackers or whatever to stop thinking about the pain. I was falling of my being healthy wagon and I didn't like where I was headed. 

My doctor kept checking my shoulder, pocked around my arm a bit and had me raise it, and told me no need for an x-ray. I told her it was my bicep that hurt and nothing else. Only the first 2 days did my entire arm hurt. 

She gave me a patch to put on and apple cider vinegar to drink. She said workout - do my cardio, but not my mixed martial arts just yet. Also when back at work to start moving it to prevent a frozen shoulder. If it didn't improve around Wednesday or Thursday that I should come in that day or the end of the week for a shot. 

So, I headed back to work. My arm was tender and when I tried to raise it (slowly as I couldn't raise it at normal speed) I'd work through the tightness or pain and hoped it'd just ease up from use like my doctor said.

Well, before the end of the work day - I was in worse pain than the day it started. My shoulder, elbow, wrist, everything hurt. No good resting position. I was in major pain. In fact I was hunching over with pain. I couldn't straighten up. I was in tears! I could barely move. I had my husband wash my hair as I couldn't lift my arm off my side.

I didn't sleep well. I tried sleeping sitting up as I was in constant pain.

Tuesday rolled around and I called the doctor's office, I needed a shot today! I wanted the pain gone! Well, my doctor wasn't in on Tuesday, and the only doctor available that gave shots was available at 2pm.

I couldn't dress myself, take the dogs out, make breakfast, I was useless. It took my husband and I about 40 minutes to get me dressed. Awful!

That time seemed forever away. When you're in pain you're wondering how to manage it and especially at work. I just wanted to snap everyone's heads off. But 2pm it'd be.

I prayed that the shot would work and that I didn't need an MRI (who could afford that?). I had no idea if I had a torn bicep or what, but it hurt to do ANYTHING! 

So I went to this doctor I'd never met before. But of course you have to meet the nurse first. And as this wasn't my nurse for my doctor but a new nurse for this new doctor, I had to re-tell everything over again about my week.

The pain, just sitting there was excruciating. So I was either going to cry or tell jokes. So I made light of the situation and told jokes.

I told the nurse about how when people ask me what I did to myself, I tell them I must have saved the world in my sleep. Sounded better than I don't know. She didn't even crack a smile. Just went on with her questions.

Then when the doctor came in she leaned into him and told him, "She dreamt she saved the world and that's why she thinks hurt her arm." I didn't say that! Seriously? He's going to think I'm loony! Whatever.

He was pushing on my shoulder. Like my doctor the day before they were really concerned about my shoulder. However, unlike my visit yesterday where it didn't hurt, I was wincing in pain this time. I might have even escaped a small cry of pain in a spot or two.

I told him how I thought it was my bicep and it aggravated everything else. My elbow was on fire! My shoulder in pain. Wrist aching. Arm hurt to move. And that spot on my bicep still there, but not as bad as the other spots.

He told me immediately I wasn't getting a shot. I could have melted to a puddle of despair right there. I came for that shot. I felt promised that shot. I wanted out of pain! Why? Why?

It's because I was the lucky winner of not 1 but 2 x-rays. One of my shoulder and one of my elbow. He gave me a business card of where I could go immediately following this appointment.

Really? So what do they give me to "numb" the pain? Ibuprofen. That's it. I have Advil at home. This ain't going to touch the pain. Maybe some of the swelling, but this needed something serious!

And let's also take note of the fact that my arm, shoulder, elbow didn't hurt yesterday. I had movement. It was the doctor's orders to move that cause d this pain, that was worse than when it started on Wednesday! So how could it be bones? It's obviously a muscle pull, tear, pinch, something! But I'm no doctor. I just want to get better. So follow orders, 

He asked if there were any other problems since this all happened. Again, I tried joking, making light of the situation. I told him, "Yes I stopped exercising and began eating comfort food. In fact, last night I ate an entire bag of Goldfish."

He just stared at me. Then said, "Goldfish?"

I said "Yes, my daughter's entire bag."

He paused, non-smiling and said seriously, "You mean the crackers?"

Do I mean the crackers? Is real goldfish a comfort food? If I'm in pain would I drive to a pet store and buy goldfish and eat them? I couldn't follow this logic. How could he NOT assume the crackers? Was I being punked?

"Yes." I said. Curious that he thought I was a delusional person that thought she saved the world and ate live goldfish. What a picture.

He also told me to wear a sling and come back tomorrow and see my regular doctor and go over the results.

So I left. When I was leaving my husband was able to meet me. I told him I was going for x-rays. He followed me.

So I drove to the x-ray facility and filled out forms while my husband was working from his laptop and phone. They called me up and I was getting up so slowly, that they called my name 3 times. I barely had the voice to say it was me.

This sweet lady took me back and told me to undress from the waist up. I told her there was no way I could by myself and if she could help. She did.

She then proceeded to tell me the different positions I'd have to get in for these photos. Ouch! I knew they'd be so painful. And I was fearing that I may not be able to physically lift or do some of the shots. So again, I joked, "I don't know if I'm ready for these boudoir photos. Those will be very odd angles."

Again, it was like I didn't say anything. May be she didn't hear me. Maybe I'm in so much pain my delivery is way off. I don't know. But I felt like I was in bizarro land.

It took forever, I was really slow, but I was able to do all the photos, though it hurt a lot! Then I was released. I then headed to the store to buy my generic Ibuprofen and a sling.

Don't you just love my black, slimming sling? Goes with everything. Again, I call it my sexy accessory and make light of it.

So about 24 hours later (Wednesday- It's now been a week of crazy!), I go back to my doctor. I'm still in pain, but not in tears. Not moving it and having it in the sling helps. The NOT moving helps, but it's still awful. I still needed help getting dressed, breakfast, everything.

So the nurse went to check me in. I've known this nurse for years. She's nice. She always asks about Ashton and gives me tips that's she's tried for different things. But then she turns to me and asks, "so did the patch and vinegar help at all?"

Seriously? We're asking this question. Do you not see in the notes that I was ready to chop my arm off Monday afternoon, HOURS after I was given that smelly patch and vinegar to drink? How could it have helped at all under the circumstance. Even if it did, in theory, if I was in that much pain, how would I have known it should have been worse without.

So without a beat, I said, "No." Nothing else. I didn't even want to get into that. But it all came back me eating goldfish trying to save the world. I felt like my situation wasn't really being understood. Sigh!

Then I waited in the doctor's office for an hour! She finally came in. X-rays came back clean. I wasn't surprised. They don't know what's wrong with me or where the pain is as I can't tell them how I got it or pinpoint where the pain is truly coming from. I am guessing my bicep, but they thought shoulder or elbow. So who knows. It all hurts. 

I told her what next then? An MRI? Do I see an orthopedic specialist?

She told me no. That the orthopedic would just look at my -rays, be just and confused and tell me I needed physical therapy and I would pay a lot for nothing.

So I said, "Then what?" Rest. And FINALLY - I got a cortisone shot! They put it in my arm where I told them I thought it all started, my bicep. They also put me on prednisone immediately. If I'm not getting better in one week I'm then to see an orthopedic expert. They're hoping rest and the steroid will just fix it all and heal in a couple weeks. I pray that it does.

So this is my long, cray drawn out story of what I've been faced with this last week!

Ashton has been amazing! She's helped get things for me, and if she hears me cry out in pain, she comes running to see if she can help. She's been marvelous. My husband too. He's helped me do things to keep everyday life running.

As of now, my arm feels SO MUCH better. The sling and the steroid is working. I'm hoping I be better in less than 2 weeks. But I'm not going to push it. It's been hard typing at work with one hand, and I have trouble lifting a ream of paper, and passing out stuff, but I've made do. I just can't wait to get better, be normal.

But I can now dress myself - accomplishment. And I can slowly do more and more all the time. I'm ever so grateful. However, sleep is still a big obstacle for me. See I usually sleep on that hurt side. I'm a side sleeper. Sleeping on the other side still aches, and I'm still trying sleeping sitting up. I also in cold sweats all night since this all happened, so I wake constantly, being cold and wet and need to change It's terrible. I'm hoping that will go away soon. But I'm still counting my blessings.

The end of the warm streak ends today. I feel like I've missed it because of all his craziness with my arm. I really wanted to take advantage of it and walk the dog and exercise and open windows, but nope. I was huddled eating goldfish. But that's okay. I'm thinking even with it back in the 30s tomorrow, I'll be happy as long as I can move. And Spring is around the corner.

As of yesterday I started eating clean again. I was able to put in a very short walk around the block. So I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. I'm not very patient, so this is a good lesson for me. I just thank God that I'm getting better. I just wish I knew what I did to my poor body. I so don't want it to happen again, but it looks like I really won't be getting any answers. But since I'm getting better, I'm able to handle no answers better.

I'm exhausted! It's been a hard week. I'm so ready for the weekend!

And on an Ashton note, here is a little drawing she did today!

My girl drew C3PO, BB8, and R2D2. Aren't they great?
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