Thursday, December 15, 2016

My Birthday

If any one knows me, I'm not big on my birthday.  Other people's birthdays, never been a problem. Just more of a Scrooge when it comes to my own. As I've seen it, after about 12 it's all downhill. Too old for the themed fun parties. And people have been to busy with Christmas parties, that it gets harder and harder for people to come by and celebrate your birthday with you. 

I did have a sweet 16 surprise birthday and a small gathering at my 18th. But I think that's the last time I celebrated with a party. Never really thought much of it. Never liked the thought of getting older anyhow. So for years, my husband either took me out to a quiet dinner every few years or so, but that was about it. It's not like I kept it a secret or anything, I just don't acknowledge it and play it down as much as possible.

Then I had a daughter. And that's when we started up on the birthday cards. 

Our first year with Ashton (2013), my hubby got me a musical card and Ashton sang and danced along. Best present ever!

Then in 2014, I got another card, one that Ashton picked out. She loved the card and her enjoyment was contagious.

Last year snuck by, no big deal. Back to normal.

But this year, Ashton wasn't having it. She knew my birthday was coming up and for the life of her couldn't understand why I wasn't having a party, a cake, or celebrating it. She kept telling me I wanted a Butler University party with a Butler cake.

I kept telling her I was too grown up for parties, and that it was time to focus on Christmas, and that I didn't care for cake. But it just made her more upset and persist even more. Then I thought of the example I was being. Did I want my girl years from now to push herself under a rug when it came to celebrate her? Just because I do this for myself, doesn't mean I want others to follow suit. The opposite in fact, especially my daughter. I don't want to pass my insecurities on to my daughter. I'm sure she picks up on so much already, but if I can put a stop to the obvious ones, then I should. I want a proud and vibrant daughter. Humble but unapologetic in who she is.

For all my adult "excuses", none were viable enough to explain to her. They were all silly really. Why not be proud of my day? So this year, I decided to change things for my daughter's sake. I would no longer be the Birthday Scrooge.

I got an outfit from my mother for my birthday and Christmas I decided to wear and I decided to embrace it and celebrate. My hubby made a cake that my daughter and I ate together for breakfast. Then when we got home we went out to celebrate over dinner.

My daughter even sang to me at the restaurant.

We had a great time out. I even got a birthday candle on my dessert.

We got back so late, we didn't have time for Truth in the Tinsel. We just counted Ashton's green cards and got her to get her rewards and headed to bed. It was a wonderful birthday. I may not have had a Butler birthday as my daughter dreamed, but we celebrated and had cake and enjoyed it.

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