Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Remembering Gotcha Day Eve

Two years ago, my husband and I were parents, but not in the traditional sense. We were parents to a child we never met. We had been parents to a child we had fallen in love with more each day since December 20, 2012. But we had never held our daughter. We had never touched her. All we knew about her was a handful of photographs and a few lines of description. Yet, with that and faith we went around the world and were mere hours from meeting our daughter.

I wish I could tell you how excited and anxious I was. And I'm sure I was... but not fully. I was jet lagged, exhausted and living out of a suitcase. The whole experience was surreal. We had just arrived in Zhenzhoug, having just been in Beijing the day before climbing (no exaggeration) the Great Wall.

The whole time in China was a surreal experience. Whether that helped my nerves or didn't make a difference... I have no idea.

Now I was excited enough that I didn't sleep much. But I did get enough rest. I don't remember being tired the next day.

I remember Gotcha Day in vivid detail for some areas, and a blank in others. Kind of like our wedding day. But the day before, it's very blank. I don't remember that day at all really, other than waking up and off throughout the night.

I find it funny, our last night without her, I don't remember it well. As it should be I guess. I'm just glad we have this crazy little girl in our lives. She has blessed us in numerous ways.

Tomorrow, we celebrate 2 years together.

During our wait I wondered so much what'd she'd be like, if I would be a good mother at all, what our normal days would be like... and here we are living the dream we waited for. I thank God for spotting her file and snatching it up before anyone else. I can't imagine being matched now. I can't imagine it any differently, though before I would have swore to you we would have been matched, not me find her. I dreamed how the call would come, where I'd be... not finding her.

And look at this incredible girl! She's smart, funny, kind, all the things one dreams about their child to be. On top of that her personality... lover of animals, songs, endless energy, music, OCD, tomboy, shoe obsession, books, she's just a great fit for our family and it's hard to imagine her quirks not blending seamlessly with ours. I love this girl fiercely.

I love you so much, little girl! I'm so proud of you and love seeing your view of the world! You are the best of me.

I can't wait for our Gotcha Day Anniversary tomorrow! Our family day is very important to us, and I know you've been excited about it, though maybe more about going up and down on the carousel. Regardless, I can't wait to see how our journey continues to unfold.
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