Just when you think your life can't get any crazier.
For Ashton, I'm sure everything is going normally. No changes. Last week, her day care provider was on vacation, so Ashton got time home with Daddy all week. A little change, but nothing overwhelming.
As for this mommy, I've decided to take on a lot. I don't know why. I didn't intend to but I am.
This is always a hectic time for me as I have my company's conferences coming around the corner. Again, I'll be gone to Iowa for a week and busy with one here in Indianapolis the following week. The conferences, I plan about a year out, I know it comes with the job.
Then I decided to do Walk the Wall. It is September 13th. So no big worries. It doesn't fall really in my way for the conferences.
Then I decided to help a friend out and help assistant direct a play. I've been away from theater a long time. I thought this may be a good way to may be get back in. It opens the same weekend as Walk the Wall, but I can bow out there and know the ship can sail without me. Auditions were this weekend. And rehearsals start next week. (So again, I can't commit during the conference weeks.) So I am now busy with conference stuff during the day and theater at night.
Then in June, my company announced an acquisition of another company. So my conference planning got put on hold for a month as I scrambled to do all the acquisition things (it happened a couple days before my North Carolina vacation!) So I've been swamped catching up on conference stuff.
Then we decided we weren't busy enough, and decided to get a dog. she joins our home August 2nd, right after I return from Iowa and before the Indianapolis conference. Talk about timing.
So I've been burning the candle at both ends, and trying to fit in Ashton time. I'm exhausted, and haven't even gotten to the conference yet.
That being said, I have been praying for calmness and clarity of thought and energy to get through it all.
Well, Monday when I returned Ashton to her daycare, I asked the daycare provider how her vacation cruise was. She got engaged. That was great. But also, she was told by her grandmother to move out of the house in the next couple months, so the daycare is closing down! She was in tears telling me this.
She hopes to find a place big enough for the daycare, but with such little notice, she doesn't think it is possible. Therefore, with the new school year looming ahead, I must find Ashton a new daycare.
I've been trying to figure out how to fit that in my already hectic schedule. I hate the idea of uprooting Ashton, after she just got settled there... however, life doesn't work that way.
So now I have to find a new daycare, and fit in time to visit with them to see what will be best for Ashton. On top of theater, the walk-a-thon, the conferences, the acquisition, the quality time to spend with my daughter, and planning/quality time I must spend with the new puppy. It's a bit overwhelming! But I'm doing my best to take it all in stride.
I'm sure this is all for the best, and when it's done I can say I was a rock star to get it all accomplished. But right now, I want sleep. Precious days of sleep. No interruptions. I can't even focus on house chores with all of this looming. I've been working 10+ hours every workday for the last 3 weeks, and it's beginning to take its toll.
I just keep thinking if I can get through the Iowa conference, Indianapolis should be easy as I'll be home. But with a new puppy, maybe not. We'll see. I'm just trying to focus on the closest goal. But I hope that all this is worth it. I want to give Ashton my all, and with the conferences, looking for a new daycare, planning for a puppy, talking to potential sponsors for Walk the Wall, regular chores, and theater... I wonder if I have anything left for her.
Was I wrong to go back to theater? May be a puppy was wrong. Perhaps I've bitten off too much with Walk the Wall. I'm just exhausted, and I can't drop anything that's on my plate. I just hope Ashton doesn't feel like I'm leaving her out. I'm still with her, but feel more distracted.
She's one of the top priorities in my life, but I feel that things are getting cluttered. I wonder how much she notices. I just can't wait for stillness in my head. There's too much fluttering about.
And I want to be able to focus on finding her a great daycare. We'll see what the upcoming weeks brings. I'm thankful that God has faith in me to give me only what I can handle, but I'd like a little less on my plate.