Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Our First Letter from Gloria

Yesterday, I came home to a letter from Gloria, our sponsored child from India.

Unlike Kajal's first letter which came only 2 months after sponsoring her, we received Gloria's first letter after 6 months!

Unlike Kajal's letter, which was written by a "Customer Relationship Coordinator", Gloria's letter was written by her father!  I thought that was so cool!

Gloria is his eldest daughter.  She has 3 older brothers, Boniface, Norbert and Edward, and one younger sister, named Floria.  They all love to go to school.

Gloria loves to play with her friends and they are grateful for us supporting Gloria.

That was the letter in a nutshell.  But we also got a little bonus with the letter.

The best part was Gloria's artwork for us!  Isn't it great?

How sweet of her to give us some artwork!  We love it!  We also have a hand print of our Godchild Ms. S.  So hand artwork is a staple I suppose from children, or at least it is with us.

Also, Happy Halloween everyone!  I hope it's a safe one for all of you and enjoyable!  The weather isn't great, but make the most of it and enjoy the moment!
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Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Luckily, I don't live out on the northeastern part of the US.  However, a lot of my friends do, as well as people like me wanting to adopt and going through the process.

I just read on Facebook how one of those who lives out there just got LID recently; and I read that her house is destroyed.  I feel so badly for her, but I also wonder how this will affect her adoption.

It's so scary the things that are out of our control like that.  You can't worry about them, as it does no good, but how can you prepare or lessen the risk?

I hope you all can pray for families all out there, whether they are in the adoption world or not, and hope that their families are safe, and can go home soon or have a home to go to.  It's a crazy world, but good people are what help us go on.  If there isn't anything you can do to help, prayer is the best thing you can do.
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Monday, October 29, 2012

2 Month LID-aversary

Wow, it's our 2 month LID-aversary!  It seems like just yesterday we got LID.  We've been very busy since then, and I don't see us gasping for breath anytime soon.

I like to think that by next Halloween I'll have my girl all dressed up.  But I may still not have her.  I'd like to think I'll at least be matched, but we'll see.

It'll be interesting to see how long I'll be paper pregnant.  Where a lot of parents are anxious to be matched, I'm anxious to get her room prepared.  We're still working on finding the right flooring.  My husband has asked to be exclusively over this, so I have to be very patient with him.

I've asked if I can at least start painting her room next weekend, even if we don't have flooring picked out, just so we can get the ball rolling.  He thinks he can clear out the garage to get her furniture down there so we can paint her room and spruce up/paint her furniture.

I would like to have her room completed by Christmas... at least that is my hope.  But if not, that's okay.  She won't be here by Christmas.  I've got all the time in the world!

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Friday, October 26, 2012

The Tree

I usually have strange and vivid dreams.  Last night was no different, but somehow I want to find a deeper meaning to it.  I know I'm digging, but sometimes you just want all the silly nonsense to mean something other than randomness.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending how to look at it, it wasn't about adoption or Ashton.

It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was in New York.  I was sitting in the audience of the Ellen Show.  (I love Ellen)  And it just ended and I'm walking out, and at the end of the audience rows are tables to pick up any devices you had to check in.  I picked up my Kindle.  (Why I had to check that in, I don't know, but it seemed a normal thing to do.)

As I'm leaving the building, I notice that the staff of the beautiful building are putting up a Christmas tree.  I also notice right outside the revolving doors of the lobby a HUGE Christmas tree be put up as well.

As I go out the revolving doors a footman hands me a sapling of a tree.  I hesitate as I don't have money to give, but he smiles as if to tell me it's free.  So I take it.  I don't really notice what kind f tree it is or anything , but I remember that the bottom was that red, shiny paper.

As I continue back to where I'm staying, someone give me a popsicle   I don't care for popsicles, so I'm worried it'll melt all over the tree I'm carrying.

I end up going inside a building as a shortcut.  It's not a mall, but hallways of shops.  As I walk I pass by things that I make mental notes of wanting to see again.  Then I start going through a hallway/food court.  There my popsicle snaps in half.  And I get it on my tree.  

So I clean it up and take one lick of the chocolate popsicle and throw it away.  I take off my jacket and clean it.  Then I notice the broken half on the floor and throw it away.  In doing so I set down the jacket and tree.  I then proceed to walk away.  Then I remember that I forgot the jacket and tree.  So I go back to get them.

I end up at Grandma's townhouse in New York.  (FYI: my grandmother lives here in Indiana, not in New York, but whatever.)  Inside I start talking to Julia Roberts, like she's visiting us there and it's all normal.  She sees the tree and asks what kind is it.

I sit down, with the tree in my lap and I tell her I don't' know.  So I begin examining it for the first time.  As it's winter time I know that the tree is mostly bare, no foliage, so it's hard to tell.  But I think I see a bit of white on it, so I say, "A white birch?"

Julia looks it over, standing over the tree while I'm still seated, fingering through the branches and says, "I don't think so.  Look!"

She points to one single, very small rosebud.  The rose must have bloomed from the spring as it's all dried up now.  But it dried as a beautiful bud.  I exclaim, "I never saw that!"

Then Julia starts pushing on the petals trying to open it up.  I worry that it'll crumble as dried flowers do, but she gets it to open a bit.  She worked it open, but it was still in bud form.  But you could see the individual petals and see inside more.  And in doing so, the most brilliant colors emerge from the rose.  It's a beautiful pastel purple inside. Julia then says, "I think it is a..." and she says something Violet something.  It had a 3 word name for this tree, but all I remember is the word violet. 

She then goes in the next room to google about the tree.  I decide I'm going to call someone about it.  As I get on the phone, I notice my grandmother and brother are on it, so I hang up.

Then I wake up.

Again, this dream is just as curious as most of my dreams, but I remembered most of it and this tree I received, carried, and discovered.  I'd like to find something deeper than I just had a dream that was a jumble of nothing.  I'd like to think the tree meant something.  So kind of hope or gift yet to come.  I don't know.  I'll have to google rose, tree, and violet.

Who knows?  But I know this tree doesn't exist.  It was going to be a huge tree like an oak that grew violet rosebuds or something as well as white snowy blossoms.  I remember thinking that when she mentioned the name of the tree.

Regardless, I hope everyone else's dreams come true or give you hope.
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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Gold Thread of Memories

I just ordered a copy of a book I had as a child.  I had no idea it'd be so hard to find.  I didn't even know the history behind it.  I just knew the symbolism in the book to faith and God.  

Anyhow, I bought "The Princess and the Goblin".  But I didn't want any version I wanted the Linda Hill Griffith illustrated version.  If you type her name, it's easy to find.  But if you didn't know who illustrated it, as I didn't but only remember the photos vaguely in her head, then this is a hard task as the book was written over 100 years ago and zillions of versions exist.

I just remember it being such a good story and how "The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe" has Christian symbolism  so did this book.  But what I also remembered was the golden thread.  Every time I read the Red Thread proverb I think of the golden thread mentioned in this book.  So I had to get this book for Ashton for a multitude of reasons.

I can't believe that the original book I owned got lost over the years.  I still have some of my favorites, such as "Anne of Green Gables" and a few others.  In fact, my husband and I collect beautifully illustrated books, such as an 1890 copy of "The Three Musketeers".

Regardless, I've searched on and off before, but last night it was gnawing at me.  I couldn't sleep and I had to find it.  I tried searching the book title with different years, and with illustrated after it.  Nothing came up.  Finally, I gave up and emailed my mother as a possible lifeline, hoping just maybe she had it.  She didn't.  I knew better, but had to try.

So I tried again this morning... which didn't make sense.  But I did.  And a book came up with no photo of it with a description saying it had colored photos and black and white photos... as well as the name of the illustrator.  I thought, maybe... but what are my chances.  So I typed her name with the title of the book and a few versions of the cover popped up along with several places from amazon and others to order from.  

I got so excited!!  I just ordered it today and hope to get it sometime next week.  I can't wait to re-read it again and see all the illustrations and relive a bit of my childhood.  

Of course I can't wait to share it with Ashton!

For those of you not familiar with the book, it was published in 1872 by George MacDonald, who was a Scottish author, poet, and Christian minister.  He is known for inspiring authors like J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis.

The summary of the book is about an 8-year-old girl, Princess Irene, who befriends a boy name Curdie and meets her grandmother (who gives her the gold thread).  There are goblins that live under the castle, underground, and want to start a war with the humans.  Together they must save the kingdom.

I hear there is a sequel to the book called "The Princess and Curdie", but I never read it.  

Also, there was a cartoon based on the book, years back.  It should be available on DVD.  But I suggest reading the book first.  I'm sure there are many great versions out there, but I personally only wanted the one I grew up with and am so happy to have found it.

I hope many of you check out this book, because if I remember correctly, it was a great fairytale with great messages.
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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

She's Ba-a-ack!

Today Ms. N. came back to work.  I can't believe it's been six weeks since she's been gone.  I'm so glad to have my friend and co-worker back.  If she ever feels too tired she can go home and just put in a half day.  She's doing remarkably well, but tires easily and takes everything really slowly.

Everyone was really happy to have her back.  The department all went out for lunch today at a local Mexican restaurant.  We chatted up for a while and listened to her silly stories of being drugged up and stir-crazy while gone.

I know her 3 kitties missed her terribly while she was gone to work.  They loved having her home.  But I know Ms. N. is ready to be out in the real world.  I just pray she does take it easy and heals quickly.  It can take up to a year until she's back to 100% again.  But regardless, she had the best of the worst case scenario.

Welcome back girl!
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Monday, October 22, 2012

Little Things are Waiting

When I came home after work today, I checked the mail as I always do.  Nothing but junk.  So I went inside to take the dogs out.  Kiara is always first as she is always right there to greet me, saying "I don't wanna say hi, I just want to go out!"  She's such a lover.  So I took Kiki out and when I opened the door there was a small package against the door frame just waiting for me.  

Usually with my husband's work, I assumed it'd be a part or something for him. As we get those packages everyday.  But it had my name on it.  My curiosity got the better of me and I opened it right away.  It was the knob to our desk!

I wasn't expecting it until the end of the week!  I'm so excited!  

I of course rushed to take the rest of my furbabies outside.  Dawson is always so eager.  Skylar is just happy to see me, as is Amadeus.  Arwen is her tentative self.

Anyhow, I can't wait to put in on the drawer of the desk, once we fix it.  Yay!  It'll look so good.  I can't wait.  It's such a pretty knob!!  It may be a long wait for a match, but I'm going to enjoy my short wait for this knob!
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Sunday, October 21, 2012

More Dressing Up for Halloween

Hopefully this will be my last Halloween without Ashton.  If not, I hope I'm at least matched and not to far from travel.  

I love Halloween.  Being in theater, I love dressing up and Halloween is that excuse.  Of course I haven't dressed up and gone trick-or-treating for years.  But I still love the concept.  So it will be nice to relive that when Ashton arrives.  However, I'm not looking forward to the cold weather!  Why wear a coat to hide the cute costume?

Last year I reminisced about what I may dress Ashton up in.  I found all these cute photos of things I loved from a scarecrow to a flapper to red riding hood.  It was so fun to imagine the possibilities.  I said the musts were a panda, pirate and witch.

I still haven't found a cuter outfit as a witch that I found last year.

But I did find a cuter panda outfit!  And I wouldn't worry about her getting a chill out in the cold outdoors.

But for a pirate, there are a few out there, but I so see myself wanting something custom, as pirates are so dear to my husband's and my heart.  So of course our girl can't be a little deck hand.  She'll be the Captain of pirates!  I could see this and last year's pirate outfit morphing to a really cool one for her! Man, I've got to learn to sew!

Now it's time for another new set of fun, cute, adorable outfits!  Enjoy the parade!

I love this harlequin/carnival, European, 1700s outfit.

What little girl wouldn't want wings?  A fairy, or Tinkerbell would be fun.
Add an R2D2 hat, and this would be perfect. She has to love the original Star Wars.
I like the idea of me as Cruella and her a dalmatian or her as Cruella  holding a stuffed dalmatian.
Love the car addition, but I think that is too much for just Halloween.

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Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Movie "Somewhere Between"

Today was the day I got to see "Somewhere Between".  My husband, my mom and my friend Ms. D went.

It was really good.  But what was more impressive was my husband was really impressed with it.  He even would exclaim a few hours later, out of the blue, "That was a really good film."

It opened with a Gotcha Day.  It was neat how they filmed a 5th birthday and 15th birthday and had them side by side to see differences.  The journeys of the 4 girls in the movie were all different and all moving.

There were some funny moments in the movie, especially from the youngest daughter, who I think was three at the time, Helina Butler.  But it's beautifully put together and the girls are very well spoken.

I highly encourage anyone to see the film.  I did tear up a couple times.  Nothing in the film surprised me.  I've read bits of similar stories and other documentaries.  However, it was still good to watch and still had their versions to share.  

I can't wait for it to come out on DVD to own.
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Friday, October 19, 2012

Sometimes It's the Little Things

We finally found a changing table/desk many months ago, in April, on Craigslist.  We bought it for a steal, but it does need work.  It needs repainting.  A leg need reinforcing.  The lap drawer needs fixing and it also has a missing knob.

All of the issues are easy fixes, except the knob.  I searched Ebay, I searched furniture places, I searched knob places... I couldn't find where to order the knob.  I found the manufacturer's website and went to their contact screen, which was just an email form.  So I tried emailing the manufacturer of the desk, with no reply.

As we bought it from Craigslist, I was worried unless someone was selling "parts", we wouldn't get the knob.  And the knobs aren't plain or anything that could be easily matched.  And I wanted the matching set.

So yesterday I decided I'd try again.  

So I looked up the manufacturer again, and as their website didn't show a phone number, but did an address I tried typing the address in google to see if a phone number would show up.  It did!

I called and eventually got through to a live person.  She had a sweet southern drawl.  I told her my dilemma.  She said they couldn't help me I had to go through a dealer.  I asked would they be able to help me as I got it from Craigslist.  She said to tell them that she said they could.

So she gave me a number of a local dealer.  I called the number.  I got a nice woman on the phone and I told her I needed a knob.  She asked if I bought it from her store.  I said, no.  It was from Craigslist.  Thus my problem.

She said that they were like Sam's Club.  They were a specialty warehouse for furniture and I needed a membership to join.  She was telling me that membership isn't $6000 a year like some... and I'm thinking all I want is a knob not a membership.  Anyhow, she went to say their membership was $100.  

I said, could she just call since the manufacturer said that it'd be okay.  I didn't know what that meant, but I wanted them to start a conversation at least rather than give them the whole run-around.  So she asked all my information and said she'd call me back and let me know the price, the shipping and if she could get around the membership fee for a knob.

Not long after I got a call back from the lady.  She said good news.  They will be mailing the knob to me the next day.  I was thrilled!  Now I was waiting to hear if I was suckered into a $100 membership just for a knob or if that was waived. She said, no membership fee was needed as the manufacturer was sending it to me for FREE!!

No shipping costs, nothing!  I'm getting the missing knob free!  I was so thrilled.  After all the red tape and circles from paperchasing, hearing that someone was going to be lenient and helpful and not stickler for all the costs, it was so refreshing!

I told her she was a life saver.  I know she didn't understand.  It's just a knob.  But with all the battles..  for this to be painless and work out in a fast time.  I was so grateful!

So just that little thing, that small measure of kindness and customer service has me so happy!  I can't wait to get in in sometime next week!

You always hear when one door closes another one opens.  We'll now it will be a drawer!
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Thursday, October 18, 2012

What's Next?

I forgot to update that my husband was able to fix that water heater problem. My husband is so handy around the house.  I just wish sometimes that all the "projects" were done.  He always has a never-ending list of things to do.  And believe me, it's not from me!  But he loves building, tinkering and all that stuff. I'm very fortunate to have a man who loves to work on the house, the theater sets, and other friends maintenance problems.  I just can't wait until we can turn a majority of that focus on our girl's room.

We're still looking for flooring for Ashton's room... we haven't given up on our flooring we love.  We have a few feelers out.  I really hope someone can help us get the flooring we fell in love with.  We still see it on the website, just under another name, so we haven't given up hope yet.  It's just tough as the website can sell directly to us.  And as the middle man was helping we're trying to cut that out and work on it ourselves.  Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves to get what you want.  It's awful having no carpet and no hardwood in her room at all!  We need something in there!

The musical is chugging along.  The songs are getting fine-tuned and the blocking refined.  We open in less than a month!

As for the facebook friend who got a match, she got her pre-approval (PA), so I can share her story with you all!  Her daughter can be seen on her blog here!  I am so excited for her and am following deliriously through her journey.  It's so great to have so many connections through blogs and other forums to meet fellow adoptive parents.  It makes the wait so much easier.  And I always love making friends!
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Halloween Puppy

Those who know me, know that I'm just gaga over my furbabies!  I love animals, especially my pups!  (Don't worry, I love our kitties too!)  So anything with cute dogs on it, tugs at my heart.  

I saw this book today and couldn't resist!
I love Halloween, the fun parts, not the gruesome parts... and I loved this little book.  What's best about it is the pages fold out so that Biscuit is hiding in one version and found when you open the flap up.  How cute is that?

I really hope that Ashton loves to read!  If not, I got myself a lot of cute books!  But one of the moments I've always envisioned about wanting a daughter is reading her bedtime stories.  Some mothers dream about baking with their child or teaching them a sport.  Me, it's sharing a story.  Pointing out illustrations and giggling over silly voices.  

Yes, I know I'm totally seeing it through rose colored glasses, but it's one that I hang on to.  I don't want to think of her not interested or having such a short attention span she ruins the pages or tears them by flipping trough them just to do so.  I know it will take forever to build to "the moment", but I hope she'll love to read and find pleasure in a good story or at least fun illustrations.

I dream about reading her "Peter Pan" or "Anne of Green Gables".  Yes those are older books, but those are the stories that get me all excited.  I know when she has a favorite that will replace the dream of what I have now.  I just can't wait for her bedtime... that is if she'll go to bed after a story! Ha!
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Monday, October 15, 2012

Joined a Secret Pal Exchange

During this wait I've followed blogs, forums and facebook groups.  During which, I signed up for a Secret Pal Exchange.  

I put my name, address and any information I want my Secret Pal to know about me in an email.  I emailed it to the person matching up the people.  I don't know how we'll be matched up, by LID, by number of children, by state, by likes/dislikes; who knows?  

Someone will get my name and I'll get some other person's name.  During which we send something once a month or whenever a milestone is hit.  It's to show support and encouragement during the crazy wait.  This continues until Gotcha Day.  

The deadline to get your name in was on the 10th.  So I should get my "assigned" Secret Pal any day!  I'm excited about this.  It could be really fun!  Obviously, I don't  want my "Secret Pal" to know it's me, so I can't share what I'm sending her/him on this blog.  (But if they post any photos receiving it, after the reveal of who the Secret Pal is, I may post - with their permission of course).  But I can share what my Secret Pal sends me.

I can't wait to start!
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Thursday, October 11, 2012

1st International Day of the Girl Child

Today is International Day of the Girl Child, according to the United Nations. On December 19, 2011, United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 66/170 to declare October 11 as the International Day of the Girl Child, to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world.

Girls face discrimination and violence every day across the world. The International Day of the Girl Child focuses attention on the need to address the challenges girls face and to promote girls’ empowerment and the fulfillment of their human rights.

So today is the first day to celebrate these girls, which today is 10-11-12!  Don't you love how that fell in order?  Today would be a good birthday for Ashton.  10/11/12 sounds so cool and to celebrated on International Day of Girls, just bonus.  But of course I'll embrace and love any birthday she may have.

I also think of her parents.  Do they worry?  Do they think of her?  Is there somewhere deep inside some hope that knows she will be matched with someone like me?  On a day like today I hope her mother can feel peace and know her daughter will flourish.  I can't even imagine the circumstances her mother or parents are going through to make such a hard decision in hopes for her to have a life they can't provide her.  But their choice has caused this girl to be my family.  It's so bitter sweet.  I pray that her parents have peace.  And I so pray that they love her and have means to leave her some token that she will always have from them, such as a blanket or note of birth date.  Just anything that is tangible for Ashton to hold on to.  I know it is rare, but through God anything is possible and I hope He will put it in their hearts to give her something to "remember" them by.

I just keep thinking that my husband's mother, Kay, is an angel looking over Ashton and giving her peace and love while she waits for us to come together. 
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Monday, October 8, 2012

Bought Tickets "Somewhere Between"

FINALLY!  I haven't blogged about this, but I've been following on Facebook and listening to other adoptive parents write about "Something Between".  And the movie just got booked in Indianapolis!  Yay!!

It have 4 showing times here in Indy.

Saturday, October 20th 3:15PM
AMC Showplace Traders Point 12

Tuesday, October 23rd, 11:45AM
AMC Showplace Traders Point 12

Thursday, October 25th, 11:30AM
AMC Castleton Square 14

Friday, October 26th, 6:15PM
AMC Castleton Square 14

It's 89 minutes long and is a documentary.

This film profiles Chinese adoptees in contemporary America. Roughly 80,000 girls have been adopted from China since 1989—a decade after China implemented its One Child Policy. This film intimately follows four teenagers: Haley, Jenna, Ann and Fang. These four wise-beyond-their-years, yet typical American teens, reveal a heartbreaking sense of self-awareness as they attempt to answer the uniquely human question, “Who am I?” They meet and bond with other adoptees, some journey back to China to reconnect with the culture and some reach out to the orphaned girls left behind.

In their own ways, all attempt to make sense of their complex identities. Issues of belonging, race and gender are brought to life through these articulate subjects, who approach life with honesty and open hearts. Interestingly told, each girl’s experience is a bit different and varying things happen to them during the movie. One of the girls finds her Chinese birth parents, and the scene of them meeting for the first time, then visiting their village is quite something. The birth parents, especially the father, is so struck by finding this lost daughter; we are reminded that this girl had birth parents who due to policies beyond their control, gave up a daughter they had loved and whose loss they mourned.

I've already bought tickets for me and my husband.  I also sent an email inviting friends and family that I thought may be interested.  We'll see what happens.
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Friday, October 5, 2012

Hot Water Heater Problems

Yep!  Late last night (right before bedtime of course) we discovered our basement floor all wet because our hot water heater busted.  Luckily, with the garage sale last week a lot of the stuff was gone and nothing truly got ruined.

However, with nothing but freezing water, I couldn't shower today.  I have oily hair and it looks horrific today.  Small price to pay in the large scheme of things, but I feel very icky today.

Hopefully it's a fix my husband can do.  He is very handy and thinks he knows what the problem is and it should be a "cheap" fix to get a the hardware store.

We have plans tonight, so I'm hoping he can get away from work to get the hot water heater fixed before then so I can shower before our plans tonight.

On another note a fellow adoptive parent with my agency that I've been facebooking just got her referral!  It was very exciting to share!  I don't want to say anything until she has her PA (pre-approval).  But she is still in shock and deliriously happy.  I'm so excited for her.  Made me wonder a bit more about where am I in my wait.  But I'm so happy to "live vicariously" through her right now.
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Thursday, October 4, 2012

Looking Ahead

I wonder looking to the days, weeks, months ahead, what my wait will be like.  Before I've had a paperchase to type about on the blog.  But now, it's official waiting.  With nothing to fill these pages other than moments of my current life that may or may not have to do with her.  Yes, I've been blogging all of that already, but now it's all I have with no paperchase or milestones to fall back on.

I know I'm working on a few things for her, such as a rug and will be working on her room, hopefully soon once a flooring is picked out.

I also am busy working on a musical in my spare time, and the usual daily grind of work and home improvements.

Am I living my life to it's fullest and truly enjoying my "single" life as much as possible before it turns upside down?  I hope so.  I want to enjoy my life now and not focus it on being anxious for a referral or just having her home. So far I think I'm doing that... but for how long will I have this peace?

I do daily devotionals with my faith in Jesus.  It's a wonderful way to not only stay connected but to grow and keep the communication alive and strong.  Some days are more thought provoking than others, but it's still something to keep you moving.

I wish there was something like that for waiting adoptive parents.  I wish there was a devotional for adoptions.  Something to slowly help you think of all the things.  I mean I read books, lots of adoptive books, and I'm "nesting", but it would be so neat to have a day-by-day take in small doses reflective and encouraging devotional for this wait, to feel like you're still learning and moving forward.

Maybe this sounds silly.  I mean really that's what all those adoptive books are for.  But I love the idea about one day learning about history of China, next day something about attachment, and so forth.  Not so much like a book where it goes on and on chapter after chapter, but where conversation or prayer or research for 1 topic is concerned, rather than a plethora of things you read in books.  It can be overwhelming at times.  There is so much information, sometimes you're on overload.

And with books, I get so "hungry" I fly through them then just and hungry to find the next book.  I wonder if I really am reading and soaking in what I should.  And sometimes I can only take "certain" books at certain times.  Some are so depressing, it's hard to feel positive about adoption. 

Don't get me wrong, the pain and loss and institutionalization are important to understand.  But when you read more and more about the hurdles, sometimes it's easy to forget why you started this journey to begin with.  So that's why I think a devotional could bring all the subjects and vary it's messages for the days so that some are uplifting and others help prepare for the hurdles.  IT forces you to focus on the message for that day.

I guess that is what this blog is for me, my devotional.  But I was wanting one more written/workbook style for me rather than me just write with my choice of direction every time.  If I were an author (yes I write books and scripts, but for my own enjoyment, never published) maybe I would get with my favorite adoptive parents who were eloquent with their words and put one together.  I could see it being very therapeutic.  

Actually, I can see easily how I would categorize it and lay it out.  If only I could just be the ideas girl and have another author write it!  I would love just to be the creative inspiration and basic outline ideas person.

Regardless, I've got plenty on my plate to keep me busy before I get a referral.  The musical won't open for just over a month.  I have a website overhaul for work to get off the ground.  I have a house where we've put up a new closet, new to put in a nursery and get everything organized and spruced up for another life to come into.

I hope I can feel prepared and have it all together by the time of referral.  I'm taking my time though.  I don't want to rush.  I have the holidays around the corner, and I truly want to enjoy them and savor them before the loving chaos of a child comes into the mix and changes all I've ever known.

There is so much promise coming to me and my husband.  The future is bright.  I feel truly blessed.  
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Monday, October 1, 2012

Father Thinking of Ashton

So last night I was in bed trying to fall asleep.  It was late, and I had work early in the morning.  And I run the weekly Monday morning meetings at work, so I hate to be groggy at all on Mondays. 

Well, my husband has a more flexible schedule.  He also usually doesn't start as early as I do.  And he found out we were low on milk and OJ, so he went to the store to get it while I was settling down.

After a time I get a call on the phone.  It's him.  He found something for Ashton and wondered if he should buy it.

I told him no, we got Ashton plenty of stuff and we need to save the money.  He went on to say it was $12 and it was usually $49.  I said take a photo and email it to me.  The photo never came and he came home.

He said he couldn't get the photo on the phone to work.  I said well was it cute.  He thought so.  Should he go back?   I said, since I was up let me throw on some jeans and just take a look myself.  So we trudged on to the store.

It was a patio set for a toddler.  And it was a panda patio set at that.  Of course we thought how she could use it outside, use the chairs inside and how cute the floppy ears were.  and when she outgrows it we can sell it at a garage sale for the price we bought it for.

So we got it.  And Amadeus gives it 2 paws up!

It's one thing for me to say, nah we don't need it.  But when my husband finds something cute for her that "he picked out" it's hard for me to resist!

I can't wait to see her use it!
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